Update

You are expecting this to be a happy post... right.... Well the happy post is only half done because there was a slight  Huge problem that has consumed my time.

In my last post you found out that I had an Ectopic pregnancy. The doctor found the baby in my right fallopian tube and we took a shot of chemotherapy to dissolve the pregnancy.
So, I thought it was over.

I was wrong

 When the methotrexate shot is administered, your doctor will monitor your hormone levels to make sure everything is happening as it should. They will draw and check your blood on the 4th and 7th day after the shot. I went in on the 4th day and had my blood drawn, and double checked with the doctor if it was really ok to do what I wanted to do as long as I felt good, and they gave me the a ok.
So off to Holiday World for a little fun!
The whole day at Holiday World I felt really pregnant. I had nausea, headache, and other pregnancy symptoms all day. I received a phone call that afternoon from my doctor with the results from my blood work. My hormone levels sky rocketed! It is totally normal for your levels to increase some but this was a LOT. The baby must have liked my tube because it kept growing. My doctor seemed a little concerned but said as long as I was not in excruciating pain that I was ok and to come in on day 7 for more blood work. The morning of day 7 came and in I went to give more blood. They told me they wouldn't have results until that following Monday, so the waiting game began. I went on with my day as normal. During my hair appointment, I started having pain. It was pretty severe but it only lasted about 30 mins. I kept replaying what my doctor said in my head.....

"It is normal to have pain. If it is not excruciating, then you are ok." 

The pain went down to more of an uncomfortable feeling and not so sharp, but I still felt a little off.  We went to dinner and I had my favorite, sushi. The entire time at dinner I didn't feel good. The sushi didn't taste good and I knew something was really off at that point. I still kept running what the doctor said to me and kept telling myself that I was fine. She said what I am experiencing is normal. I don't want to go back to the ER for something that is normal. My husband decided to call his mom, who is a nurse, and tell her what was going on. She then called me and convinced me to call the on call doctor at my OB practice just to see what they would say. I was ok with that. It can't hurt just to talk with someone.

I called. Left a message. Immediately got a phone call back. 

The doctor said, "your hormone levels should not be that high. Some one dropped the ball. You need to go to the hospital now. Why haven't you received another shot of methotrexate? I will call the hospital and let them know you are coming. You need to go now."

WHAT?? It took me a second to take that all in. I thought I was fine. I was doing everything that my OB was telling me to do. She didn't seem that concerned a couple of days ago. So, off we went to the hospital. The staff was waiting on me to get there and they rushed me in and started checking my vitals and drawing blood. Then I had another ultrasound.
This one took longer..... and I began to worry.
It wasn't fifteen minutes and the doctor that I spoke to on the phone was coming in and introducing herself to us. I was thinking, gosh that was fast.....

She calmly sat on the bed and proceeded to tell Lee and I that she was about to perform surgery on me. She said that I had started to bleed internally and that she needed to take my right tube out immediately. Then she started rattling off all the dangers that could happen during surgery and things started to get fuzzy..........

I was scared.
I thought we were taking care of this by getting the shot.
I thought we were avoiding THIS.
What if I would have waiting until Monday, like I was told....
If I waited... this might have been a different outcome.
Why is this happening to me?
I just had a miscarriage.
How can my body act this way.
What did I do wrong?
I don't want this to be the end of trying.


So much stuff was swirling around in my head


Here I am. One fallopian tube. Three incisions. No baby.

BUT
I am Alive!

Thankful for the doctor that was concerned. She took care of me.
For the other OB..... she is NO longer my doctor.

I am taking it day by day. I am in pain from the procedure and have limitations until my followup appointment. I am clinging to a few scriptures and choosing to walk in God's Peace.

This song on repeat!